Sherlock Gnomes Bloopers
by VioletRose13
Summary: One-shot. A set of funny little bloopers for Sherlock Gnomes.


"And action!"

"I guess it's a fixer-upper." Juliet said as she and Gnomeo were standing on the pedestal in the middle of their new garden.

"Well, I think it's…" Gnomeo trailed off and paused. "Uh… What was my line again?"

"The most beautiful garden in the world because you're standing in it!" The director yelled.

Juliet, the director, and a few other cast members laughed at Gnomeo's mistake.

"Oh yeah, yeah. Hahaha, very funny. Go ahead, laugh it up." Gnomeo said sarcastically.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Watson, look what you've done to the globe!" Sherlock scolded.

"Me?! You're the one who kicked it!" Watson retorted, trying to get up.

"Because you ducked. The very reason you're wearing padding is so I can kick you."

"I am not your punching bag!"

"Don't be absurd, of course you are. Oh, how I miss having a proper anemone. Wait, did I just say ' _anemone_ '?"

Watson stifled his laughter.

"No! No, no, no, no! I meant to say ' _enemy_ '! EN-EM-Y!"

"Oh sure, you did." Watson joked. "What a day! Even the great Sherlock Gnomes can make mistakes!"

"Cut!" The director yelled.

Watson suddenly burst into laughter, followed by a few crew members.

"Ugh, can we start this over again, PLEASE?" Sherlock demanded as he covered his face with his hands; his face turning bright red in embarrassment.

"Okay, okay, okay! Whatever you say, Sherlock. One more go, people! One more try!" The director ordered.

"Thank you!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Squirrel scene: take 5. And action!" The director ordered.

"Left, right. Left, right." Sherlock whispered as he and Juliet maneuvered their squirrel costume. "Now scurry. Stop! Oof!" Juliet bumped into him. "Careful! Now wag your tail. Go on, wag it. Quickly! Wag it!"

"Ugh, just when I think you couldn't get more annoying." Juliet sighed as she shook the costume's backside.

"That is the LEAST realistic tail-wagging I have ever seen."

"Oh, forgive me. I've never been the back end of a squirrel before."

"You should've told me that before I took you on as my assistant."

"I'm not your—"

Juliet was about to continue when she heard a muffled sound followed by a horrid smell that quickly invaded her nostrils; she covered her face, hurriedly climbed out of the costume, and took deep breaths.

"Oh, Sherlock! What was that?!" She breathed.

"I'm sorry; I probably shouldn't have added those spicy pickles onto that sandwich earlier." Sherlock said, gently pounding his chest with his fist; he let out a deep burp.

Juliet stifled her laughter at the sound.

"Cut it!"

"He just did!"

Juliet suddenly started roaring with laughter and fell onto her back as Sherlock concealed himself in embarrassment.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Meeting Irene: take 71. Action!"

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here." Irene said.

"Hello, Irene." Sherlock greeted mildly. "You're looking well."

"A letter. You ended our engagement in a—" Irene said before she was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing; she groaned. "Not again. I thought I told someone to hold all calls until the _end_ of my shifts."

A tiny nesting doll dressed up like a maid ran up and offered a phone to Irene. She took it and said into it,

"Hello? What, huh? Ugh! I told you, no more COMMERCIALS! And you have to stop calling me while I'm at work! We're in the middle of shooting a scene. Now stop calling me or you're fired! …And yes, mom. I will pick up milk on the way home. Goodbye!"

Irene hung up and looked at Sherlock and Juliet, who were stifling their laughter.

"Oh, shut up." She said before looking at the man behind the camera. "What are _you_ waiting for? Cut it! Or do you want me to go over there and do that for you?"

"Cut, quick! Cut it!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Grass, perfectly even. Soil, undisturbed. Ant colony, thriving. Do you see it, Watson?" Sherlock asked.

"Yes, there are no footprints." Watson replied.

Sherlock continued to sniff the ground like a dog on the hunt; he spit out some grass.

"Someone kignapp—" He messed up before he let out a chuckle. "Someone, I-I mean. Someone kicked all of the gnomes in their private parts… repeatedly."

Everyone else, including Watson, burst into hysterical laughter.

"I need to try that again, don't I?" Sherlock asked through chuckles.

"Cut!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Ready? And action!"

"You help Watson, I'll help Sherlock." Juliet said before she raced off to help the detective.

"Huh, what?" Gnomeo stuttered.

"You can handle it! Agh, whoa! Oh no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!"

"Oh dear. Miss Juliet, slow down! Slow down! Oh no, no, no, no! Oof!"

"Whoa!"

In another part of the set, there was a sliding sound and a pair of screams, followed by a loud crash. Juliet had slipped on a wet spot on the floor, slid into Sherlock, and they both slid across the wet floor and collided into a shelf of cleaning supplies. Gnomeo and Watson watched in amusement.

"Ouch…" Sherlock sighed.

"You okay?" Gnomeo asked.

"I'm good, I'm okay! I'll walk it off." Juliet commented.

"Can we get a little MORE wax on the floor, please?" Watson asked through giggles.

"I heard that!" Sherlock groaned.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Listen up, doll! You've got something I need and I'm not leaving here without it!" Juliet demanded as she pounded on the door.

"Wait, Sherlock? Sherlock!" The direct asked.

The camera turned to Sherlock with headphones in his ears; he was smiling and bobbing his head and humming along with the song he was currently listening to. Juliet groaned and facepalmed in frustration before she started to laugh.

"Someone is really into his music." She whispered to the director.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"That's impossible! He was smashed, I saw it!" Watson said in disbelief.

"So you're twins, eh? Absolutely identical?" Moriarty asked a pair of plastic dolls. "You know, I'm sure I can get you both a part in the sequel."

"Ahem!" Juliet cleared her throat; Moriarty turned his head and saw the cameras pointed at him.

"Huh, huh? Wha-what? We're back? Are we back?" Moriarty stammered. "Oh, sorry about that. Okay, girls. It's been lovely talking with you both. If you need any tips on acting, please DON'T hesitate to ask. Nice chatting with you. Alright, off you go then."

The dolls nodded at him and walked away, leaving Moriarty alone with his face so red it resembled a tomato. Juliet, Watson, and Sherlock were trying their hardest not to laugh.

"If any of you laugh, I'll smash you all right now!" Moriarty threatened. "And that includes _you_ , Mister Director! Get over here, you!"

"Cut, cut, CUT!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Of course, you're only here on work." Irene said. "But your case can wait; it's show time. See if you can deduce who this song is about."

Suddenly, the song "Dancing Queen" by Abba starts playing instead of "Stronger Than I Ever Was"; everyone starts to laugh, even Irene.

"Lionel! That's the _twenty-seventh_ time!" She yelled through her laughter.

"Sorry, sorry! Wrong track!" The sound guy said.

"Don't worry about it." The director laughed.

"Where are my platforms? Let's go disco!" Irene joked.

"Digging the Dancing Queen!" Juliet jokingly sang along; Sherlock almost fell over while laughing.

"Hold on, I'll get it right!" The sound guy said. "Let's try it again!"

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Marker! And action!"

"First we're going to need a distraction." Lord Redbrick said.

Benny suddenly flew through the air and crashed into a bit of bubble wrap, waking up Ronnie the gargoyle.

"Huh? What's going on?" Ronnie asked before Benny emerged from the curtains dressed in a big, poofy, pink dress that came from nowhere; suddenly he started to laugh along with everyone else. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! He just looks so funny!"

"Benny, where did you even _get_ that?" Gnomeo chortled.

"It makes him so pretty!" Ronnie mockingly cried.

"What?" Benny asked innocently.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Marker!"

"She loves me, she loves me not." Benny said to himself as he was popping a big piece of bubble wrap. "She loves me— Oh hi, Nanette."

"Ooh, I think someone's got—" Nanette began before she started laughing. "I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! He has something in his nose!"

"What? I do? What is it?"

Benny turned his head to look at the camera, only for everyone to see a large twig with leaves still attached. Everyone suddenly started laughing.

"Get makeup, please!" Nanette called.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Miss Juliet, for future reference, that's not how a squirrel wags its tail. This is." Sherlock said as he shook his bottom in front of Juliet. "Do you see what I'm doing? See? Do you see?"

"Yes, you're acting like a rear end." Juliet sighed before she heard a fart noise; she cringed at the sound. "Oh no, what was…?"

There were a few more noises; a few crew members were stifling their laughter.

"Wait, who's doing that? Who is it?" Juliet questioned.

Sherlock looked like he was trying to hide his laughter along with the rest of the crew; she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sherlock, what was that?"

Juliet went over to Sherlock and took something small out of his coat.

"What is _this_?" She asked.

Sherlock suddenly fell over; he was basically howling with laughter, which made Juliet feel very confused and embarrassed. She gently squeezed the device in her hand and it made the fart noises she heard earlier; she groaned and shook her head in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I couldn't resist!" Sherlock said through his laughter.

"Can we cut? PLEASE, can we cut and move on?" Juliet asked as Sherlock continued to roll on the ground and laugh like a madman.

The crew and director burst into laughter along with him. Juliet merely shook her head and smirked; she never really understood fart humor.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Where are the strawberries?!" Irene asked as she was standing by a chocolate fountain. "You can't have a chocolate fountain without STRAWBERRIES!"

She jokingly shrieked.

"She's right, you know." Watson commented; he was standing in another corner of the room.

"See? HE gets it!" Irene said.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"And action!"

Irene is seen passionately kissing Watson… and he's seen kissing her back and holding her in a dip formation. The camera slowly zooms in on them until Watson notices.

"Watson, you dog!" Sherlock's voice yells.

"Hey, hey, hey! Get out of here! Go on, SHOO!" He cried out as he shooed everyone away, nearly dropping Irene in the process. "Sherlock, did _you_ plan this?"

"Who, _me_?" Sherlock asked, acting innocent.

"Get over here! I'll get you for this!"

"What are you looking at? Stop the camera!" Irene demanded as she watched Watson chase Sherlock all around the set.


End file.
